Category Archives: Fantasy Baseball

2011 All Over-Hyped Baseball Team

     Now that the baseball season is in full swing, here is a look at the ultimate lineup of over-hyped (current) players. These are guys that were expected to do big things and have done just about nothing.  These are the guys that every fantasy magazine has wasted ink on and that Yahoo “Experts” have given repeated verbal knobbers to. As a result, some of you may have wasted a mid-round (or… gulp… earlier) fantasy draft picks on some of them only to have it blow up in your face. The reasons for their performance level or lack there of are varied. Some haven’t lived up to the hype because they are always hurt. Others just plain suck… and continue to. Here is a position by position break down of the 2011 All Over-Hyped Team.

Catcher- Matt Wieters     The second coming has yet to arrive. This kid was supposed to cure A.I.D.S., give sight to the blind, and single-handedly win the pennant for the Orioles. The rare catcher that was supposed to be the rare combination of defense, power, average, place discipline, etc… none of which have materialized. Granted, he is still young, but seasons of 9 and 11 homers and a .269 average isn’t that great even for a catcher, especially one that was expected to do way more than that.

1st Baseman- Casey Kotchman     He plays great defense, hits for great average, and the power is coming. I hope you got a magazine, because you’re going to be waiting a while. When you can’t even start or stay in Seattle, you know you are bad. Remember when he was a contingency plan in Boston. Holy shit, thank God for Gonzo.

2nd Baseman- Gordon Beckham     I’m guilty of drafting this guy in single digit rounds, like an idiot, but like a lot of idiots. He broke into the bigs as a third baseman, but has shown less power and avg. than some pitchers. The move to second base prompted a lot of people to pull the trigger on him early after a dazzling debut. Only to be burned by a sophomore slump the likes of which only Matt Wieters has seen. The average isn’t bad, but I think the projections of a future 20-30 HR threat are waaaaaaaaaaaay overblown.

Shortstop- Jhonny Peralta     This guy may be the fattest shortstop that I have every seen. He makes Pablo Sandoval look like one of the Olsen twins. The power has all but disappeared. His average has dropped by at least five points every year. For everyone that bitched about Scutaro, Lowrie, Gonzalez, Renteria, etc. in Boston… it could be worse, you could be a Tigers fan.

3rd Baseman- Kevin Kouzmanoff     Remember when this guy was in San Diego? His power was coming. Then his power was sapped by Petco. Then he moved away from San Diego and this was the year for the cheap power at third base. Wait no, it’s the stadium in Oakland that’s sapping his power. Well, he hit .234 on the road last year. So it’s not the home park, it’s this guy being over-rated.

Left Field- Melky Cabrera     The Yankees traded him off to the Braves after he never really lived up to the promise and the daunting task of filling in for Bernie Williams. I never realized how fat this guy was until I saw him in a Braves uniform. Maybe the Yankees brought him up to early… or maybe he just sucks.

Center Field- B.J. Upton     This guy would probably be on the list of most over-rated players ever. I honestly don’t think that he even likes baseball. Here is the classic example of a guy that relied way too much on God-given physical ability but didn’t care enough or work hard enough to do anything with it.

Right Field- David DeJesus     He hits for a decent average and gets on base. Awesome. But that is all he ever does or has done. Enjoy Oaktown buddy.

Starting Pitcher- Daisuke Matsuzaka     Every fifth day for a Red Sox fan is like running across a frozen pond in March. You might make it or you might fall into the water and flail around a little bit before you drown. At least when you drown they say you fall into a state of euphoria. No such euphoria in watching a Daisuke outing. We paid a shit ton of money for this guy who walks way too many and nibbles way too much. They should have this guy and Lackey fight to the death in center field before a game and then kill the winner.

Starting Pitcher- Rich Harden     Remember how awesome this guy was supposed to be if he could just stay healthy? Well he didn’t… ever.

Starting Pitcher- Fausto Carmona     Look! It’s the Hispanic Hideo! It took major league hitters and any fantasy owner with a clue one year to figure out that this guy isn’t that good. He doesn’t strike people out, doesn’t really get anybody out, and plays for a bad team. Yeah, I know they are pretty good this year, but this guy pitches every fifth day… remember that Cleveland fans.

Starting Pitcher- James Shields     Oh, Big Game James, how you’ve burned me. I kept this guy one year. I also owe Obie a Bruins game because I foolishly boasted that he would strike out 200 the year I drafted him in like the 9th round. I’m retarded and this guy sucks.

Starting Pitcher- Javier Vasquez     Uh oh, why does this starting rotation look like one of my fantasy teams a couple of years ago? Oh, wait, because it was! This guy was awesome for like 2 years. Then he had to go to the American league and pitch against line ups without pitchers. The K’s, wins, ERA, etc. have disappeared. This guy can’t even break into Florida’s rotation anymore. Ouch.

Long Relief- Barry Zito     This is the only deal and baseball that makes Daisuke’s look sensible. The curve is still there (sometimes), but it’s tough to be successful when your fastball isn’t much faster than any of your offspeed stuff.

 Relief Pitcher- Joel Zumaya     Before Aroldis Chapman rowed to America, there was Joel Zumaya. This guy must have pissed off a voodoo priestess one Mardi Gras. Injuries have derailed the flame throwers trip to the closer spot for Detroit and may have also derailed his career. Then again, the Tigers are counting Jose Valverde to close, so maybe not. But seriously, this guy blew out his shoulder moving boxes out of his house as the wildfires were coming in Cali a few years ago. This dude is jinxed.

Relief Pitcher- Joba Chamberlain     There’s a reason that the Yankees will pay Mo whatever he wants, well into his 50’s. It’s because Joba sucks. The starting thing didn’t work, neither did the setup gig. He could probably make similar money and have more success selling rocks with his mom.

Relief Pitcher- Frank Francisco     Neftali Feliz is good, but Francisco had every chance to keep the job in Texas last year. He didn’t. The last time this guy hit his spot it was a woman’s nose with a chair in Oakland, circa 2004. The fact that he actually hit something with a throw intentionally is still debateable.  

Closer- Fernando Rodney   It took this guy all of three appearances to lose his job this year. Look at this guys numbers over the last few years-  49/30 K/BB in 40 IP, 61/41 K/BB in 75 IP, 53/35 K/BB in 68 IP. The only thing worse is this year 8/7 BB/K in 8.2 IP. How does this guy still get closer money or the opportunity to even close on a team?


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